Kikyo's Living Hell
by Kiki-the-strawberry
Summary: Me and Kagome kindnap Kikyo and do some evil stuff to her... Kikyo lovers BEWARE! MAJOR KIKYO BASHING! Oh by the way, all flames will be used to burn Kikyo oh rated just in case.


Okay this is a quick, humorous one shot fic that is all about… KIKYO BASHING! WOOHOO! (whole crowd cheers) DIE KIKYO! (oh by the way… me and Kagome team up to bash Kikyo.) I refear to my self as blackcat or just cat for short. Or even blct.

Disclaimer: UGHH! I've been through this with all my other stories! I don't own Inuyasha or any songs that I may borrow!

Living Hell For Kikyo!

We start our story in Cat's room where she is happily watching TV.

"DIE KIKYO!" hits a picture of Kikyo with a tennis racket

Well when we left to go meet with the audience she was happy… then again the show was just starting and she had no idea which episode it would be… oh well here's the story…

I ran around her room screaming "Kikyo must die!" at the top of my lungs. Inuyasha was Kagome's! NOT Kikyo's! Then I got a brilliant idea.

Suddenly Kagome burst through the door with a look that could kill.

"You're sooo right! Kikyo must die! Or better yet be tortured!" She said looking at me.

"MWAHAHAHAHHA! With me magnificent authoress powers me can do anything! We can team up, capture Kikyo, and torture her! Won't that be much fun!" I said holding my hand out to her. She grabbed it and we shook.

"Yes…much fun…" We both grinned evily.

We jumped into the TV using my wonderful authoress powers and than landed right next to Kikyo, who seemed to be making some evil plan to get rid of Kagome. We snuck up on her and than tied her up with snakes before she had a chance to react. We drug her (taking care to hit a few rocks) back to the TV opening and appeared back in my room.

"Hellloooo Kikyo. We have brought you here for a reason. We have brought you here to be (dun dun dun) TORTURED!" I said laughing at her feeble attempt to get out of the ropes.

I grabbed my earphones and put them over Kikyo's ears and than played a song called "What I Hate About You" (which is a doctored version of 'What I Like About You' by the Romantics.)

Hey! Hey! Uh-huh! Hey! Uh-huh!What I hate about you  
You are really uptight  
Tell me that you're leavin now  
Please at least some time tonight yeah

Please stop shouting in my ear  
Givin me headaches  
'bout things I don't wanna hear  
'Cause it's true!  
That's what I hate about you!

What I hate about you

You got know fighter's stance

You just go dodge dodge all around

Slip and than you fall down

Talk about a loser dance yeah

Please stop shouting in my ear

Givin me headaches

'bout things I don't wanna hear

'Cause it's true!

That's what I hate about you!

That's what I hate about you!

That's what I hate about you!

Uh-huh! Uh-huh! Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

What I hate about you

You make me cold at night

You always make me frickin' cold

Stealing blankets it's not alright yeah

Please stop shouting in my ear

Givin me headaches

'bout things I don't wanna hear

'Cause it's true!

That's what I hate about you!

That's what I hate about you!

That's what I hate about you! You! You! You!

That's what I hate about you!

That's what I hate about you!  
That's what I hate about you!  
That's what I hate about you!  
That's what I hate about you!

As soon as the song ended I my head phones off her ears.

"I hope you liked that little song Kikyo! I made it especially for you!" Kagome said sweetly.

"Next torture… SPAM! WE ARE GOING TO FORCE FEED YOU SPAM! AND THEN YOU WILL BE FORCED TO DELETE ALL MY SPAM E-MAIL! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Oh by the way I haven't deleted any of that E-Mail since a few months ago so I'm guessing that's near 500 different junk letters!)"

So Kagome brought out a blue and yellow can that said SPAM on the front. I tore off the lid and got a whiff of the foul substance.

"AWW MAN! THAT STUFF SMELLS LIKE 5-YEAR-OLD WET CAT FOOD!" As soon as I said that Kikyo turned green.

I pulled out a metal spoon and stuck it into the Spam. At first the spam made a sound similar to the sound jell-o makes when you stick a spoon through it and pull out some. Kinda a "SPLOCH' noise. Kagome pulled open Kikyo's mouth and I stuck the foul substance into her mouth. She scrunched her face up in disgust and then forced it down her throat. We repeated the process until all the spam was gone. Next I sat my laptop on her lap and forced her to delete all my Spam mail! MWAHAHAHAH!

"And for your final punishment… we shall have Kagome and Inuyasha kiss right in front of you!" I yelled.

"What?" Both Kikyo and Kagome said in unison.

"Ohhh Inuyasha! All you can eat Ramen buffet right over here!" I bellowed.

Suddenly a red blur came into the room.

"WHERE?" he yelled jumping around and sniffing every where.

"Uhh I'll give you all the ramen you can eat if you do one thing." I whispered exactly what he had to do into his ear.

He tried his hardest to surpress a grin.

'there's no down side to this deal' He thought.

He walked over to Kagome, leaned down and kissed her on the lips. Kagome returned the kiss and they didn't break away for what seemed like hours. Kikyo stared at them with a look of hate, disappointment, jealousy, betrayal, and most of all anger (mission accomplished!) As soon as they broke apart Miroku, Sango, Shippo, Kirara, Sesshomaru, Rin, Jaken, Naraku, Kagura, Keade, Kouga, and Sally who is my friend/critic all came into the room to laugh at Kikyo.

"SOO… who wants pizza?" I said as soon as I stopped laughing.

"I DO!" everyone said at the same time.

So we all ate delicious pizza while all Kikyo had was Spam and 5 year old wet cat food. And a leaf. Not sure where she got the leaf.

THE END


End file.
